I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
