You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
