why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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