Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
