He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize