We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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