i jhust puked up my retainher.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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