i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
