So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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