Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
