As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I touched a dick in church today
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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