The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
