Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
