wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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