Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
