sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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