She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
