Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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