your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
