this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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