I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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