the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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