i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
