She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
