Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
