Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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