from now on my penis is your penis
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
