after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize