HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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