thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sorry about my life...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So apparently I’m into choking now
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
