omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
