why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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