I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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