I don't think brook has ever known best
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
