She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
