omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
