The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
