I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
