I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
