I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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