We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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