i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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