You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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