last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
