He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
