I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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