Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize