You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
