i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
