420 ftw
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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