haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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