when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
