Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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