I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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