I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
