He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize