i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
