Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
