I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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