his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize