So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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