I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
