What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
