God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize