i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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