How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
