im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize