You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
