She said her name was "party"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize