I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
