Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
