you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
