I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
