I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
