Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
