So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
