Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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