What a fucking waste of an outfit
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
