I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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