Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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